Choose 3 of your OCs. They can be from anything. Original stories, fanfic OCs, whatever. It doesn't matter. None of this matters.

1.James: - The protagonist shaggy brown hair, has shadow powers.

2.Karson: The best friend and vampire - secondary main character -

3.Aloysia: The local librarian in the Abelio City Great Library, cute, pixyish sorcerer.

1) So. Introduce yourselves. Are you related in any way, or do you have no idea who the hell each other is?

1.James: Well I’m James, James nobody , Nobody because my favorite story as a child was The Odyssey. You figure it out. And uh, of course we know each other, why else would we be here together…where…is here anyway?

2.Karson: I’m Karson Sangres, I’m a vampire, and I’m -hey, got any food? I could swear you said there was going to be doughnuts or something…you know, that’s good point actually, where the hell are we? This place looks like hell. Seriously I’ve seen paintings of what hell is supposed to look like and this is eerily close.

3.Aloysia: Well your not far off really, I recognize the skyline, were in Detroit. Um, I’m Aloysia Webber, and I am a librarian. I’m also an expert in magic and the occult martial arts of
Shadow weaving. And the Dewey Decimal System.

2) Great, great. So. Ever gotten a blowjob?

1.James: What? What the hell kind of question is that? I mean yes! Of course I have!

2.Karson: Hah! Not lately! I mean uh…your walls are thin….*ahem* uh, I’ve dated vampires, you know, “girls who suck” what do you think constitutes foreplay to a vampire?

3.Aloysia: *blushes profusely* Uhh…*nervous laugh* I-I don’t think that’s the correct terminology, as I’ve read extensively on the subject I can say with certainly that I’ve never given- I mean gotten a blow job *wide smile*

3) HURR. That last question was uncalled for! Anyhoo. What do you like doing when no one else is looking?

1.James: Why Aloysia, your face is a lovely shade of red after that question, what I like to do when no one is looking…well seeing as I can appear in any dark corner…I like to look when no one is looking, and let me tell you, when people think they’re alone they are weird. And gassy.

2.Karson: Um…wow…I am so installing floodlights in my room.

3.Aloysia: I talk to - and answer myself.


4) Have any secret shames that you'd like to indulge upon us today?

1.James: Secret shames?…what does that even mean?

2.Karson: Is this like…a confession? James…you know, yesterday when I raided your fridge and blamed raccoons? I lied…it was me. Though, I really did bring one raccoon!

3.Aloysia: A great librarian never reveals her secrets!


5) Got any ultra-quirky kinks?

1.James: I honest to god just want a cup of coffee.

2.Karson: I sometimes mix the thirst for blood with the desire for sex.

3.Aloysia: I want to make love in the eastern abandoned wing of the great library surrounded by tons of those little “be quiet” signs…and be really loud …what? don’t look at me like that



6) Within the last month, how many people have you done questionable acts with?

1.(James & Karson): Define questionable!

3.Aloysia: I’d say this whole situation smells funny, but I think that’s part of the local ambiance.

7) Do you love me? I love you.

1.James: I hate you

2.Karson: Are you edible? I love you if your edible!

3.Aloysia: I love signs admonishing silence…why aren’t any of those posted in truly noisy areas?


8) Are you hurt because I lied in that last question?

1.James: I’m overjoyed.

2.Karson: You lied? How could you!

3.Aloysia: I’m the smartest person here and even I’m confused.


9) If you could kill someone and get away with it, who would it be?

1.James: *cracks neck* I already kill people all the time.

2.Karson: People who don’t finish the food on their plates...there are hungry people in third world countries! there's a hungry people here...is Detroit a third world country?
(James) I'm not certain the city can count that high...

3.Aloysia: Am I the only one concerned that we're stranded in a strange city and don't have a map?


10) What is the one things that sets you off so much that you'll go from docile to rabid squirrel monkey in 12 seconds?

1.James: Mistreating women, kids, animals, my friends, my coat…

2.Karson: That sounds like a good name for a band…rabid squirrel monkey...*air guitars* RABID SQUIRREL MOOONNKEEEYYY!

3.Aloysia: People who put books back in the wrong place! SOMEONE has been going around the library arranging all the books into color patterns of a HAPPY FACE!

(James) Damn what a shame…
(Karson) I know, its horrible!
(Aloysia) *Growls*

11) Who the hell are you people? Why are you in my house? Are you even people? Get outta my stuff!

1.James: We’re….in the middle of the street, what house?

2.Karson: Maybe his house is that drifting cloud of potato chip bags and a used condom sliding across the street in the breeze.

3.Aloysia: Ugh…it sucks here


12) Does rain filter down through your handsome volcano rocks to create a wild mineral water that's tasty for the ladies?

1.James: Wow, I’ve never heard them called volcano rocks before, but I suppose ‘it’ could have a tendency to erupt….

2.Karson: Hah! Tasty for the ladies…did you just make a…joke? That was even kind of funny!

3.Aloysia: I know, I’m scared too!


13) I'm going off track a little. Um. How many people have seen you bare-ass nekkid?

1.James: I quite proudly can say I’ve lost count

2.Karson: Me too!

3.Aloysia: *sigh* people don’t often strip in the library…usually

14) How lovely. Have you ever wanted to smoke crack? Are you a crack head?

1.James: No, but I can see one across the street!

2.Karson: One? I can see a whole herd!

3.Aloysia: Hmm, is it a herd? Or maybe a flock…


15) Are you wondering how many more of these questions you must endure?

1.James: I must admit I’m a little curious, big K - wanna ballpark it?

2.Karson: I’d LOVE a hot dog!

3.Aloysia: God! Get your mind out of your stomach!

( Karson: If my mind was in my stomach I wouldn’t be hungry!)
(Aloysia: But you’d be exactly as intelligent!

16) What's the strangest thing you've ever licked?

1.James: I licked a demon once, she tasted like burnt cinnamon toast…

2.Karson: Wow…I may have to think about this for a minute

3.Aloysia: You boys are disgusting…I my vomit.


17) How many people have you confided in about your contamination with SuperAIDS?

1.James: How many people have you confided in about your contamination with idiot?

2.Karson: Vampires don’t get sexually transmitted diseases

3.Aloysia: I am QUITE clean thank you|!


18) There is no question 18.

1.James: Gods, you’re a horrible writer

2.Karson: Ooh look a cloud that looks like a penis! Hello Penors-Cloud!

3.Aloysia: A cumulus cloud to be exact. And it looks more like a giraffe….

( James, Karson & Aloysia together: PENO-RAFFE!)

19) Have you ever considered a fetish?

1.James: Considered…a fetish? What does that even mean?

2.Karson: I have several…appetites

3.Aloysia: I sleep with a large voodoo doll...a voodoo doll is technically a “fetish”


20) This mindless torture is over. Does this make you shit your pants in glee?

1.James: I’m uh…happy, lets just leave it at that.

2.Karson: Glee! - it makes me cry in my pants. Its fun to say…its like “GLEEEEEEEEE”
C’mon guys try it with me! GLEEE…EEE….

3.Aloysia: oh thank the gods. I was about to the city bus system to escape!

(James : Um, I hate to be a downer, but were still in Detroit, how the hell do we get out of here?
(Karson: …EEE? follow me!)
(James: You didn’t even know what city we were in! you’ve never been to Detroit!)
(Aloysia: *sigh* I’ve got a map…come on, follow me, boys…
(Karson: Follow her!)

*the end*


NOW GO TAG SOME BITCHES.